Hello , my name is Tasha and I am married to my husband, Dave. Together we have ten kids...5 mine 3 his and 2 ours, 5 boys, and 5 girls.  It is our youngest boy that is an angel.  I'll start with the pregnancy. Everything started off normal.I found out I was pregnant on Mother's day, 2005.  It was a planned pregnancy, but I was a little nervous...we had a positive test the month before and made a doctor appt. But a weeks later, I realized I was not pregnant. ( I had also miscarried in nov.1,1990 at 10 weeks) This time ,I took 4 test..and they were all positive! The pregnancy progressed normally,the afp test that is done around 15 weeks came back normal (which deep down surprised me ). But at 21 weeks i was diagnosed with placenta previaa ( placenta across the cervix)  I kind of freaked out because i had 6 perfect pregnancies before , all normal deliveries.   Another scan at 28 weeks showed that the placenta moved up and we were out of danger , but it also showed 2 fluid spots in his belly( instead of just 1 ).  The following week, Nov. 1, 2005, I had a level 2 ultrasound done ..it took nearly 2 hours and finally was told that my baby had duodenal atresia and possible Down syndrome.  I panicked, not because the ds but because of the surgery that he would have to have on his first day in this world. anyways the atresia caused polyhydramnios...too much fluid...I was measuring at 37 weeks instead of 29.

I wasn't going to do the amnio because i knew I could handle the ds ( i grew up for 12 years with a foster brother that had ds)  But i fianlly agreed to it on the 8th of nov..I wanted to know for sure for his benefit if there were other health problems. On the 11th they called me with prelim. result that he indeed had trisomy 21..  I went for my reg appt on the 16th of November and got worse news..I was already dilated to 1( I had already been in perterm labor twice and was given meds to stop conratctions when they became too frequent). We toured the NICU and recieved a shot to speed up lung development. That night I had a lot of contractions so i took my meds and they slowed down. so I went to bed .( found out the next morning that the contractions were a sign of my placenta abrupting, which was his cause of death) That was the last time he was alive.. I woke up around  midnight and noticed he hadn't moved .. he was a very active baby so i told my self he was sleeping.. But deep down I knew better. I didn't sleep much the rest of the night ...I was scared that something had happened to my baby..I thought I could feel him move against my ribs, but now I know it was his foot floating against my ribs. The next morning I ate and he didn't move and i tried to vigorously  shake him awake.. I went to the doc.. and my worst fears were realized...The scan showed him lying on my left side w/o a heartbeat. I wanted to scream but I couldn't because I had my 2 youngest kids with me. I called and had someone pick them up, called my husband and best friend. They were both at the hospital at the same time. As I went on the elevator to go to the maternity unit a woman had asked if i was going to have my baby..and my response was "NO, he's dead!!".  I was in such shock that my baby was gone.  I had him that night at 8:54 that night..at 4 lbs 1.4 oz and 18 3/4 in.  My 11 year old son and 13 year old daughter, my husband and my mom, my best friend and another very good friend were there when Jordan came into the world..I had so hoped he would come back alive and cry. But all I heard was everyone else crying and the announcement that he was a "girl..no a boy" ...I had wanted a son for my husband  and I felt bad that I had failed him. 
     The visitation was on the 20th of November. we, as a family, spent the day (12:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.) as a family. It was my last chance to be his mommy. I dressed him and powdered him, and we took lots of pictures. The funeral was on the 21st. it was a beautiful service, but I couldn't believe it was our last good bye to my baby boy that I really didn't get to say hello to.